Yeah, I gasp every time I see this pamphlet too. And I'm the one who essentially asked my doctor for it! LATER childbearing, really? Well, if I want to have kids that is the category I fall in.
So I'm sure many are asking why I have information on getting pregnant when I'm not married yet, let alone trying to have a baby. I am a planner. I like to map out a basic blueprint as to where my life is going and what I want for my future. When I was in high school/college I assumed my life would be as follows: Meet my future husband in college, graduate college, get a kick ass job, get married, have babies, live happily ever after. Needless to say that's not exactly what life had in store for me. But I'm a big believer that everything happens for a reason. I wasn't ready to settle down at 25, or even 30. Not to mention I had yet to meet "the one". I was not going to settle down with the wrong person for me just to fit in to the status quo. I would rather be alone than stuck with the wrong person for the rest of my life!! Plus I refuse to rush a relationship just to make sure I got married in time to have children, nor will I rush being newly married in case I run out of time to get pregnant. A relationship, a marriage, is something that takes time. I want to be able to enjoy the person I'm with and make sure they are indeed the right person before I throw in complications such as marriage and children into the mix.
So, that brings us to current day. Being 37 I know my days of being able to have a child are numbered. Yes, I hear all the time how women have kids all the way through their 40's. But I refuse to do that. For one, the risk for both the mother and the child goes up exponentially. Plus, the chance of birth defects goes up significantly after 40. I also don't want to have to attend my child's graduation using a walker or Hoveround, or have to bury their parents before they are even able to have children of their own. It's not fair to the child, and It's not fair to my health either. So, at my annual appointment this month I decided to ask my doctor about having children at my age, and what age should I start being concerned for my own health as well as the baby's.
That's how I came to acquire this lovely pamphlet. It does come as quite of a shock that I'm considered "Later Age" when it comes to childbearing. Hell, I don't even feel ready to start a family! It kind of freaks me out thinking about having children. Which is especially ironic since most of my friends that plan on having children have already been there, done that years ago. Then I have to tell myself come on, you're 37. My mom had 2 children, one almost of legal age, and a divorce under her belt by the time she was my age. But that just seems crazy to me!
So, where do I stand with possibly having children? Only time will tell. I am not yet married, so there's that to take care of first! If I settle down in the next year or 2 then getting pregnant is still a possibility for me. If I don't, or if for some reason I do get married and the timing just isn't right for having a child, then it wasn't meant to be. As I said before, I believe everything happens for a reason. If I am meant to have a child it will happen. If it doesn't happen, then it wasn't meant to be. I refuse to base my life and happiness on if I have kids or not. It's not fair to myself, and it's not fair to the child if I have one. I live in the moment and refuse to fret and worry and have my life dictated on things that are beyond my control. So I guess we'll see what the next few years brings for me! First let's see if I settle down and get married first and when, then we'll go from there. :-)
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