Life anew?

Although I set out to keep regular posts when I started this blog, getting overwhelmed with life kind of got in the way! But now I think this will help make sense of the chaos that has become my life!

After just over 6 years Craig and I just ended our relationship. His priorities in life have become set in China now. The biggest adjustment is shifting my focus to "Me" instead of "Us". I'm stuck in that place between what was and what my future is going to be.

Which would not be as much of an issue if I didn't have many other things going on with life. My mom was just put into an assisted living facility in Owensboro. Why so far? Since she is not yet 62 she doesn't qualify for regular assisted living, and her health and mental status is not yet bad off enough to qualify at her age. She is one of the people that falls between the cracks. Dawn and I have not visited this place (it was set up by the hospital and agreed on by mom before we even knew anything about it), so we have no idea exactly how it's set up. She has been in and out of the hospital and nursing home for over a year, so it is a relief to know she is somewhere safe at least.

The first of the year I started being nauseous pretty much all the time. After several (expensive) tests they came to the conclusion that they have absolutely no idea why. Great, huh? I also found out the medicine they put me on is quite controversial in how many serious permanent side effects it can have. That, plus the fact that I gained 8 lbs in 2 months on it WITH regular exercise and watching what I ate, I decided to go off of it. The doctors could care less about figuring out why I gained the weight, nor do they care since i'm not overweight yet (I guess i'm supposed to wait until I become obese THEN be concerned!), nor did they listen when I explained my diet and exercise. I have started FINALLY losing the weight the last couple weeks, after another doctor helped me with some intestinal issues I was having. This was also around the same time that Craig and I ended things, so i'm wondering if that was causing stress making me hold on to the weight as well! Unfortunately now I have had well over $1000 in medical bills, for tests which told me absolutely nothing no less!

Then there was my car situation. My car was dying fast with all the miles I have to put on it to/from work every day. My brother in law bought it from me (it is great for his 2 mile drive to/from work), and I am buying Craig's Jag from him. After weighing all my options, this seemed like both the easiest and most economical soloution for me. It was less than buying a used Honda or Toyota would be from a dealer (Jag's are mostly show peeps!), plus I am making payments to him directly instead of having to pay interest on a loan. Unfortunately a month later it overheated on me crossing the bridge to IN. That, plus a few other maintenance issues it had from having over 100,000 miles on it, cost me another $1000. Yeah, I can't get any breaks!

So that has been the basic stress of my life for the last 8 months. There are some issues with work as well, including not having a raise in almost 3 years! But I won't get into all of that. I am still working on my 3D imaging courses, and i'm hoping (praying!) I can get a better paying job with this.

Right now I am still living in Craig's house for the time being. With all my setbacks this year I can't really afford to get an apartment (or buy a house) for a while. Since he only comes home a couple times a year now this won't be too much of an issue. I still am looking forward to getting my own place as soon as I can though! For one, I moved here to help with "our" future. Since that is no longer the case I have no desire to live this far out. I also really miss living in Louisville. It is so far out to go anywhere, not to mention the gas I have to use. Plus the maintenance of keeping up with a 3 bedroom house on 7 acres on my own is not exactly fun! Especially during ice and snow storms. Then there's the issue of getting back out there and dating again. Not exactly the best circumstance to move on and date when you live in your ex's house! I know it will be a little while before i'm ready to start looking for dates, but at the same time I wish I was already past all the crap I have to go thru to get to that point. But moving on from a 6 year relationship, especially when you are my age and now realize that having a family may very well be out of the question, doesn't happen overnight! Unlike the last person I dated before Craig, where I was out ready to date the next week! LOL He was such a waste of time thought that I was ready to move on asap!

So I guess that's about it for my update almost 8 months in the making. I'm sure my moving and dating experiences (or lack thereof!) will make for some interesting posts in the future. After all, nothing ever goes smoothly and without incident in my life! :-)