It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

Wow, what a year it's been.  So many ups and downs the entire year!  I've never had such great things and some of the worst betrayals happen all at once like 2011 brought.  The only way to recap is chronological order...

I started out the year finding out our company was bought out by Baptist Healthcare.  We spent almost 2 months not knowing what the change would entail, what our pay would be, and most importantly what was going to happen to our major vacations planned for the year already!!  I had a trip to Costa Rica planned already for May, and the flight was non refundable.  We were finally told right before the merger that our vacations would be fine.  I also was getting a much needed pay increase finally (I was going on 4 years without a raise, and I was already well underpaid from what an RT normally makes).  In trying to make sure I used as much of my vacation time saved up as possible, Tim and I made a trip to my favorite place in the world, Jekyll Island.  It was amazing as always (even more so because there's no one there in Feb.!), and Tim fell in love with it as well.  We even got to spend Valentine's Day at the beach. 

As of March 31st we were officially merged.  The week leading up to the merger, which was already stressful, Craig came home for work related reasons.  It was always stressful when he was home anyway, but add in the fact that we had been broken up for almost 7 months made it even more so.  We got along fine as usual though, and he came and left with no incident to speak of.  Little did I know what was actually going on behind the scenes...

A week after our merger, and just over a week after Craig left, I get a casual email from him telling me that he was going to be a father and was getting married.  My explanation is short and sweet isn't it?  That's because that's about the extent of the email I got.  After some cussing him out and probing on my instinct that there was more to the story, I found out he was seeing her well before we broke up.  Seeing as he cheated and didn't bother to break things off even after 2 weeks of being home the next time he saw me (I finally pryed a conversation out of him right before he left and basically put the words in his mouth that he wanted to end things), and part of the reason we broke things off was because he didn't want to settle down and have kids, and how he had the nerve to cheat on me after being 150% steadfast against cheating and after I basically ran his life and house for him while he was living it up out of the country, needless to say I was pissed, hurt, and ready to stab someone, to put it mildly!

My first priority at that point was to move back to Louisville at all costs.  While I was trying to plan all this, get my finances in order, and pack and purge all my crap, I was told I wouldn't be able to take my vacation unless they filled 2 positions at work so I would have someone to fill in for me.  Yeah, I was pissed.  We finally hire 2 people, and I'm still not told if I can still have my time off (she had to be started and trained first).  One WEEK before my plane took off I was casually told that my vacation time was approved.  Good thing, because I was going to stab someone if it wasn't!  So, I have my vacation set up and my move in date to my new apartment set up.  Great!!  Then at a routine trip to the vet to check Tissi's thyroid levels less than a week before my trip, I'm told she is in moderate renal failure and had to stay in the hospital for a couple days.  This couldn't happen now.  I couldn't lose my Peeps just as my world was coming crashing down around me!  Not to mention the cost and who was going to take care of her while I was gone on my trip.  Thank goodness she was going to be OK, but with some major changes to her daily routine.  Thankfully Tim was nice enough to stay at the house and take care of her full time while I was gone.  I knew he would take good care of her, and I would check in via Skype daily to make sure she was ok.

Finally, 10 years after getting my passport for this very trip, I made it to Costa Rica.  It was an amazing experience.  I love embracing different cultures and enjoying different climates, and CR brought all of that and more!  It was much needed after all of the crap that went down the first few months of the year. 

Once I got home from the trip I was packing furiously and finally moved for the next few weeks until my move.  It felt so great to be back where I felt at home, close to work, and most importantly out of the house where I now felt trapped and smothered in.  I felt free.  Now was the time to heal from the emotional crap that got me there in the first place.  I got support from some surprising people, such as coworkers I only speak to during working hours.  People showed great empathy.  Unfortunately there were some people I was close to that didn't show any support.  Of course those are the people you really need it from.  There were times I felt really alone when working through it all.  And on top of it I was hurt that people I had supported through much less showed no support or empathy, and even had the opinion that I was "overreacting".  That was just as hurtful as what Craig had done, because it was people I thought would always have my back.  But the one person that was the most supportive was Tim.  He was the one person that had every right to run the other way, but instead he understood that a once mutual and understanding breakup and the remaining friendship and trust that was left from it had turned into something very ugly.  He gave me the time and space I needed to sort it all out.  And to that I will be forever grateful.  I guess it is true that people show their true colors when you go through the toughest times in your life.  But I thank everyone that showed support, no matter how small the gesture was.

As I was working through all of these major life changes in such a short time, I came to another major decision in my life that I had thought about for many years.  I decided to become a vegetarian, and after a couple months started working towards becoming a full vegan.  This has been a change that brings me positive feelings every single day.  I can't say that anything else I've done in my life has come even close to doing that.  I feel good every time I eat, because I know that I am doing something good for my body, for animals, for the environment, and even for my ethics that I've held for so many years.  Plus I know that every thing I eat is going to taste awesome and be different and exciting.  Most people can't say that they feel that way even on occasion, let alone every day of their lives!  This decision has also brought me closer to one of my passions, which is educating other people about their health and nutrition and making a difference.  I have started a blog to follow my No Meat journey, and it has inadvertently inspired others to make positive changes in their lives.  It has also brought new avenues of support and friendship in reaching out to the interwebs to find others that are also making this decision.  I even recently won a virtual cooking lesson with one of the most popular Vegan recipe book authors!  :-)

So you can see, this year has had some major ups and downs from beginning to end!  These trials and tribulations have brought Tim and I even closer, and we are planning on moving in together when our leases are up this year.  For the first time in my life I don't start to doubt or worry when I think about a future together.  I am also planning on enrolling in an online program to get my Bachelor's degree in Social Sciences.  I have wanted to get my Bachelor's for some time, and this program will lead me into the direction I would really like to go with my career.  I am hoping to eventually go into something nutrition and/or health based and help people who really need to get healthy.  I am more than happy to see 2011 go away!  But I know that the experiences I've had will make me a stronger person in 2012, and I look forward to see what the new year has to bring.  I feel like I've been to hell and back this year, so I have no worries that this next year will be better! 

I hope everyone has a great New Year and wishes everyone the best.  :-)

My forearm Bone Density results over the last 6 years

"What in the world is this picture of?!?"

This is my "Report Card" that I would love to hang on the refrigerator.  I might even do so after I finish this blog entry!  LOL

Let me explain, both what this is and why it's so exciting.  As an X-ray tech I'm trained to do Bone Density (DEXA) scans.  In my position at the physician's office I work in I do all of the Bone Density scans in our office, and we get a LOT.  One of the scans we do is a scan of the forearm.  We very rarely do this type of scan, as the spine and hips is a much better area to measure.  Since we get less than 1 a year where we have to scan the forearm we practice on each other to keep up our skills. 

A Bone Density is done to measure the density of your bones (duh).  More specifically, it is to see if you are at risk or showing any signs of Osteoporosis, which is weak/fragile bones.  A person with early signs of Osteoporosis can easily fracture a bone, say during a fall, where a person with normal/strong bones would walk away without a fracture.  A person with severe Osteoporosis could potentially get up out of bed one morning and break their hip just from standing up.  Scary, right?  This scan is primarily done regularly on women who have entered menopause, because the drop in your hormones can cause a dramatic drop in your bone density.  There are other risk factors for people who may be more likely to have/develop Osteoporosis, such as a low calcium intake over the course of your life, lack of exercise, caffeine intake, smoking, or most commonly a small/petite frame.  To give you an idea of a time frame for the development of bone density (especially in females), around age 30 you stop building new bone density, around 35 you start gradually losing density, then once you hit menopause (for women only obviously!) your density starts dropping more dramatically. 

As most people that know me at all know that I have a very healthy and active diet and lifestyle for the most part.  Not to mention my love of milk and ice cream over the course of my life!  The one thing that I was always concerned about when it came to my bone density is my petite body frame.  Let's face it, I have a puny bone structure!  So I was very curious to see what my bone density was when we started doing scans in our office.  Thankfully my regular Bone Density scan (spine and femur) were perfectly normal.  Yay!  No surprise though, considering my first scan was when I was 30.  The real surprise came when we did my forearm scan.  My wrists/forearms are the smallest part of my body.  It's pretty bad when I can wrap my fingers around my own wrists with room to spare!!  Although my first forearm scan was in the "normal" range, it was teetering very close to the first stages of Osteoporosis (the precursor to Osteoporosis is called Osteopenia).  Since it was still in the normal range I didn't think too much about it...until I noticed what happened with my future scans.

The density in my forearm was steadily dropping towards the "danger zone".  Every 2 years we did the scan my bone density was declining in a steady pace.  My scan 2 years ago (my third scan) showed that if my bone density dropped the same amount again I would be in the Osteopenia range.  At 35 that is NOT a good thing!  I was taking calcium supplements, eating calcium rich foods such as yogurt, milk, etc.  And although I was exercising regularly doing weight bearing exercise (which is what you do to build your bone density) most exercising does not involve bearing weight on your forearms, unless you walk around on your hands most of the time!

So, I changed my workouts.  Using pilates and yoga, and incorporating a stability ball, I started doing all of my upper body strengthening exercises using my body weight.  I would position middle on the stability ball, for example, bearing all my weight on my upper body, and do various exercises.  I also did yoga and pilates poses that use your upper body strength to build your muscle and strength.  Worst case scenario I would just be building my muscles in a different way to keep from "muscle memory".  Best case scenario I would stop losing bone density in my forearms, or maybe even gain a little God willing!

Then a few weeks ago we did another scan on my forearm so I could teach a new tech how to do them.  My results are what you see above.  The left column is when I had the scan, the first scans I had being at the bottom and the most recent scan at the top.  Then my age at the time of the scans is listed in the next column.  The technical calculation numbers are the next few columns.  The exciting part is the far right column...that is where it shows the percentage of change in the density from the previous scan.  As you can see the first few scans showed a negative percentage, which means I lost density in my bones.  Then you see the top percentage number...a 6.1% increase in my bone density in my forearm!!  At age 37 I'm technically not supposed to be building more bone.  But just a simple change in the way I exercised, weight bearing on my arms/upper body, made a world of difference!  I am no longer in danger of dropping into the "danger zone"! 

Bone density (and really health in general) has become a passion of mine.  Being the front line of our patients I have to know a lot about bone density, and have to be able to answer any questions and educate the patients on how to keep their bones healthy.  The other passion of mine is keeping myself healthy and avoid the health risks that my family history may hand me.  One of the health issues I'm most at risk for being such a small frame is developing Osteoporosis.  The fact that I was able to BUILD my bone density back up with exercise (and of course my healthy diet) is AMAZING!

Anyway, I just had to share my exciting results/news, especially since this is a subject I'm very passionate about.  Women, please take your calcium with vitamin D supplements daily, starting from the time you are a teenager!  Eat a healthy diet with calcium rich foods such as spinach, broccoli, low fat yogurt, etc.  Make sure you exercise regularly doing weight bearing activities such as yoga, walking, jogging, and weight lifting.  Osteoporosis is a silent killer...you won't know or "feel" you are at risk for it until it's too late!  over 65% of post menopausal women who fracture a hip will die from some sort of complication within 18 months.  Don't be a statistic!  We now know how to prevent this, which is a step beyond older generations!  :-)