Since I was sent home early from work with bronchitis I decided to finally get around to writing my next entry, since I'm stuck on the couch unable to do anything without feeling like passing out and all...

Most people know that I've had a bit of a year from hell.  I have been drained emotionally, as well as my bank account being drained as well living paycheck to paycheck!  But I've always been someone who tries to make the best out of even the worst situations.  Sure, the one person I thought that would never cheat or take advantage of me and thought we would always remain friends no matter what turned out to be the exact opposite.  Sure that person didn't have the guts or decency to feel or show any remorse.  But at least I learned something from the experience.  At least I had a great relationship with 2 of the best dogs who taught me more about my inner strength and persistence than any person ever could, not to mention the unconditional love that they gave me.  At least I now have one of the most awesome cats ever who thinks that his mission is to guard and protect me (yes I believe he is part dog), and who is a constant source of entertainment and joy. And this long, drawn out experience put my life in the right place at the right time to be with the most loving and generous man I've ever dated.  And not to mention brought me the chance to own my kick ass looking car!

Even though I was so grateful for all of these things and more, something way back inside me felt drained.  I wasn't really conscious of it, but it was looming over me all this time.  Over the summer I stopped eating meat and dairy and adopted a plant based lifestyle, and I suddenly had more energy than I've ever had.  I had all this energy, but motivation was nowhere to be found.  It made no sense to me at all.  Then about a month ago it was like a dark Eeyore-like cloud suddenly disappeared from my life.  I woke up and suddenly had the urge to walk to work that day.  Then a few days later I had the desire to workout again on one of my work breaks.  Then I wanted to have friends over to watch the big game.  Now I can't wait to plan my next workout, and get my buff abs back before my trip to the beach this year. There was no signifying event that caused this dark cloud to finally lift.  It just suddenly left as quick and stealthy as it began. I have been reading Jenny Lawson's blog (aka The Bloggess), and she describes this perfectly:  Depression lies and is an asshole! Those words made me laugh because it's so true, even though at the time it is happening to you it is nothing that makes you feel like laughing!

I'm not mad that I had to go through the dark Eeyore cloud, because then I couldn't appreciate how great it feels when it finally goes away.  And if I didn't have the ability to know that everything happens for a reason, and that I will be a better and stronger person when the difficult times are over, then who knows how long it would have taken me to snap out of it.  Maybe I never would have, like many unfortunate people.  But if I had just one piece of advice to give to anyone it would be to work as hard as you can to adopt this ability.  I'm not saying it is easy to do this, and it's taken me decades of crap to figure it out, but it's the best thing that you can do for yourself!  I know that there will be more Eeyore clouds in my life, some will be tiny and others will be gigantic.  But I know that each time it happens that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.  As long as I remember that there are life lessons to be learned in order to appreciate what you have I know that I will be happy and ok on the other side.  :-)